Welcome
by 2remember
Summary: If for every moment of pleasure there is an equal moment of pain, these two must have had a blast...


The characters Yumi Ishiyama, Mr. & Mrs. Ishiyama, and Ulrich Stern are based on characters from the cartoon 'Code Lyoko.' I do not own, nor do I claim, any copyright to these characters.

This story takes place some time soon after the events in 'Yugen No Ma'.

* * *

Ulrich walked up to Yumi's house and rang the doorbell. He had told her at school earlier today that he'd drop by early that evening and they could talk or just hang out a while.

Mr. Ishiyama answered the door.

"Ah, hi, is Yumi home?" he asked.

"No," was the terse answer, "she left with her mother and brother an hour ago. I don't know when they will return."

He went to shut the door in Ulrich's face, then stopped.

"You're that boy, Ulrich, aren't you?" he asked.

"Yes, sir. We've met before, several times."

"Yes we have, haven't we. Come inside, please."

Ulrich cautiously opened the screen door and went inside.

The whole situation was rapidly becoming strange to Ulrich. He had been to Yumi's many times, and frequently met Yumi's father. But that greeting at the door was like he had never laid eyes on Ulrich before in his life.

Something else was wrong. Mr. Ishiyama was unsteady on his feet as he led Ulrich to the living room. His clothes were also a mess, like he had slept in them or something. When they entered the living room, some of Ulrich's questions were answered.

Setting on the coffee table was an open bottle of liquor. It looked to be half empty. That was a bad sign, assuming Mr. Ishiyama opened the bottle immediately after the rest of his family left. There were unopened bottles of the same stuff setting next to the open one, and as Ulrich came around into the room, saw an empty bottle on the floor.

Not good. Not good at all.

"Sit," Mr. Ishiyama said, pointing to the couch. He sat down in a recliner opposite the couch, next to the open bottle. Ulrich sat down as he poured two glasses.

"Drink," he then said, handing Ulrich a glass.

"Mr. Ishiyama, maybe I'd better be..."

"What, you help yourself to my daughter without my permission, but refuse a drink I offer you?"

Definitely, not good at all.

He drank.

* * *

"Ulrich?"

God was pounding on his head, and he wanted in BAD.

"Ulrich."

Now God was tearing him apart trying to get inside.

"Ulrich, wake up!"

He opened his eyes, only to shut them against the supernova that just flared in front of his face.

"Ulrich!"

He opened his eyes again and saw a blob. The blob seemed to be moving, making noises at him. Then reality set itself right and the blob resolved into Yumi's face.

"Hi, what are you doing here?" he slowly said at last.

"That's my question to you. Do you realize where you are?"

"Sure, I'm in my..."

Then his brain started working again, just a little bit. He wasn't in his dorm room. He was in Yumi's living room.

He sat up, slowly. The world threatened to cartwheel on him, but he made it upright before it could.

There was was something else wrong. He looked down at himself and saw he was only wearing his underwear.

"Wha', wha'." was all he could say.

"C'mon, it's time to face the music," Yumi told him as she took him by the hand and stood him up.

Ulrich was unsteady on his feet, so it took him a moment to settle. As he did he looked around the living room. Mr. Ishiyama's and his clothes were thrown about the room. There were empty bottles of liquor on the table and floor. There were two empty glasses on the coffee table, laying on their sides.

Yumi gave Ulrich's hand a tug, and he followed her to the bathroom.

Once there, she pushed him in the direction of the toilet, then left. Taking the hint, he relieved himself, mostly hitting the bowl he thought.

He jumped when she walked back in, carrying a towel and a robe. Wouldn't that girl ever learn a man needed privacy every now and then!

She grimaced at the mess he had made, shook her head, then began running a bath. She then shocked Ulrich by jerking his shorts down and making him step out of them.

"Hey!"

"Don't give me that! It's nothing I haven't already seen, remember?" she said.

She then pulled him over to the tub and made him get in. She then rolled up her sleeves and proceeded to soap him down as he stood there. He got a small smile on his face as she worked on him, remembering another time they shared a bath together.

"Don't get your hopes up, stud," she told him, "I don't think you're going to be _up_ to the challenge today." She then grabbed him and dunked him under. He didn't realize just how cold the water was until she dunked him in it.

Then, bathed and somewhere in the neighborhood of clean, she helped him out of the tub and dried him off. She then handed him the robe, which was one of hers, and he put it on. It just barely covered him decently.

"Well, the lamb's ready for the slaughter," Yumi said, then led him back downstairs.

There, in the kitchen, waiting for them, was Mr. & Mrs. Ishiyama. Hiroki, Yumi's brother, was nowhere to be found.

Mr. Ishiyama was sitting at the table, looking as miserable as Ulrich felt. Like Ulrich, he too was wearing a robe, probably one of his wife's. Mrs. Ishiyama was standing by the sink, leaning back against it, facing them. She had the look of a hanging judge on her face.

Yumi led him to a chair, next to her father's, and he sat down. She then went to stand by her mother. Once there, the Daughter took on the posture and look of her Mother.

"The two of you evidently enjoyed yourselves last night," Mrs. Ishiyama started, "the neighbors were quite impressed."

Both Ulrich and Mr. Ishiyama got questioning looks on their faces.

"You don't remember? It seems the both of you were on the back porch last night, urinating. 'Shooting for distance' was the phrase used, I believe."

They both lowered their heads.

"It also seems that the two of you are quite the duet. When we pulled into the driveway last night, we could hear you from the car. That is when we found out about your 'contest.' Mrs. Dupree was just about to call the police when we came home. Fortunately, I was able to talk her out of that."

"_Anata(1),_ I love you with all my heart, but your actions were inexcusable! I know you were upset last night, but that gave you no right to turn the neighborhood upside down! And to include a _child_ in your debauchery! You could have killed him, giving him so much to drink!"

"And you, Mr. Stern! I thought better of you. What have you to say for yourself?"

"I don't know what to say, ma'am," Ulrich replied sheepishly, "I remember drinking, then he poured me another, and I drank that, and that's all I remember. I vaguely remember saying 'no thanks, I'm good' a few times, but he still refilled my glass."

"Ulrich, if you wanted daddy to stop, all you had to do was stop drinking," Yumi said.

"But wouldn't that be rude?"

Mrs. Ishiyama's eyebrows arched at that comment.

"No, Ulrich, it would not. Among the Japanese, leaving a glass full means 'no more.' Saying 'no more' is more like asking for a refill," she told him. Ulrich groaned.

"That somewhat mitigates Mr. Stern's guilt in this matter," Mrs. Ishiyama went on, "but it doesn't cover your behavior. I am very displeased and disappointed with the both of you, to say the least."

"Ulrich, since you were in no shape to return to school last night, I took the liberty of calling and telling them you fell ill while visiting and had to spend the night. They know nothing more, nor will they hear anything more from me."

"Husband, your daughter and I will clean your clothes, so Ulrich can return to school later. And consider yourself fortunate, Mr. Stern. I was going to send you back dressed as you are. It would have been interesting to see how you explained yourself to the principal. Do this again, and I _will_ send you back dressed like that, or worse."

"While we are cleaning your clothes, you two will clean the mess you made in the living room. While I am my husband's helpmate, I am not a drunkard's cleaning wench. Now, get to work!"

With that, Mrs. Ishiyama and Yumi left, picked up their clothes, and went to the laundry room.

Ulrich looked at Mr. Ishiyama. Mr. Ishiyama looked at Ulrich. Then, he smiled.

"Welcome to the family, son."

**Notes: **

_(1) anata:_ literally, "you" in Japanese. It is used like "dear" from wife to husband. A husband will not use it to refer to his wife.


End file.
